Ask Jenni: How Much Rent Should I Charge My Boyfriend When He Moves In With Me?

Hi Jenni

“A few years ago my mum passed away and I inherited quite a bit of money which I used to put down a deposit on a house. I’ve since met someone and we’ve recently been talking about him moving in with me. I pay £470 a month in mortgage repayments and have suggested that if he moves in with me, he pays me £200 a month ‘rent’ and we split the bills equally. I’ve told him I’ll cover council tax, even though that’ll increase slightly because I’ll no longer get the single person’s discount. My boyfriend was fine about all this until he spoke to his mum (who’s an absolute meddling nightmare, by the way). I could tell he didn’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me the full story, but it sounds like she’s told him I’m trying to rip him off. She says that if he gives me money each month and contributes towards the mortgage, then he should have a share in the property. I’m livid with her.

Kayley, 28, Shropshire

I think this dilemma boils down to this: You need to find a solution that leaves you both in a better position financially than you currently are. If you can’t find a scenario that you’re both happy with, you’re incompatible and it’s not going to work.

Your mother-in-law certainly isn’t alone in her stance. People often argue that if someone moves into a home that their partner owns, they shouldn’t pay any ‘rent’ at all, because they’re not actually ‘renting’ in the traditional sense. Even if you have more than one bedroom in your home, I’m guessing your boyfriend isn’t going to have a room of his own. And so I understand where these people are coming from, particularly when no rental agreement is drawn up. However, the problem with this scenario is that it leaves the person who is moving in with their home-owning partner in a situation that is so good, that it has the potential to cause problems for both parties further down the line.

If your boyfriend is going to move in with you and live rent-free, he’s going to be in a situation that most people can only dream of - while you’re no better off. This can blur the lines of why he’s living with you.

I’m not opposed to your original offer but I’d be tempted to suggest you reduce the £200 a little. I’m going to assume that your boyfriend isn’t paying bills in his current situation because often when you rent a room in a shared house with strangers, the bills are lumped in with the amount paid in rent. So, if we go along with your suggestion, once we add half the bills to the £200, your boyfriend isn’t saving that much. If my assumption is correct, could it be worth reducing the ‘rent’ to £150?

Since he’s going to be paying half the bills, having him move in with you isn’t going to leave you worse off anyway - providing you’re going to split the housework equally, that is.

Your ‘nightmare’ of a mother-in-law does speak some sense and there is a little truth in her argument that your boyfriend could have a share of your property. It’s incredibly unlikely and if the relationship was to break down, he’d have to seek legal advice and provide concrete proof that he was helping to pay the mortgage. Nevertheless, it’s wise to be cautious.

It might be a good idea to seek legal advice yourself before going any further and letting your boyfriend move in. But I appreciate that you might not want to go down such a formal route. One way you could potentially protect yourself is by charging him no ‘rent’ at all and getting him to pay all the bills instead - providing the total sum of bills aren’t so high that he’s worse off than he is now.

Alternatively, get him to pay for your gym membership, trips to the hairdressers, and for the weekly big shop etc etc so that your expenses fall, without you throwing away your independence when it comes to paying your mortgage.