Moving Back Home With Parents: A Survival Guidefeatured

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If you’ve moved back home because you have no job whatsoever, build structure into your days and don’t fall into the habit of having lie-ins all the time. Give yourself a three day weekend, sure, but spend the other four days job hunting and improving your employability by learning new skills or volunteering. If you spend your time at home being a massive bum, then you’ll never be able to leave, and that’s kind of a bit cruel on your poor parents.

Get out of the house as much as possible. Get a hobby, visit your mates, stay at your boyfriend/girlfriend’s house as much as possible. If you do have a job, being away from home won’t be a problem, and you’re likely to only see your folks for a couple of hours each day, but if you’re sat around the house all weekend, things may get a little hairy.

Clean up after yourself and do chores around the house. Sod it, you could even offer to pick the cat up from the vets or go out and buy some loo roll every once in a while. If you’re not paying rent to your parents, helping out is crucial. If you are paying rent, it’s slightly less crucial, but if you aren’t a lazy monster, you’ll do a bit anyway when and where you can. Your mum is not your cleaner! (If my Mum is reading this she’ll probably leave a message below telling me to practice what I preach)

I’ve seen several guides telling people to redecorate the bedroom that they haven’t inhabited since they were a teenager so that it becomes a peaceful and calming retreat from the stresses and strains of semi-adult life. If you are thinking of doing this, let me stop you right there. You’re supposed to be saving money! Why the hell would you redecorate?! I appreciate that your bedroom walls may still be bright pink and there may be bits of wallpaper missing from when you hastily tore down your Adam Rickett posters down before any of your mates saw, but there really is no point in decorating. You’re supposed to be leaving in a few months. The nicer you make the place, the less likely you are to clear off as soon as you’ve sorted yourself out. Ideally, your room should be prison like, at best. If you want to make some adjustments, fit a cat-flap sort of contraption in your bedroom door so that your Mum can slide your meals to you on a tray without you even having to put any pants on.

During your time at University you probably forgot just how annoying your parents used to be, and all their irritating quirks and habits may seem like a distant memory. After spending three years in accommodation that probably looked not too dissimilar to Jesse’s pad in Breaking Bad, and after using a bathroom that looked far worse than the worst toilet in Scotland, you may even look back and wonder why anything your Dad ever did annoyed you in the first place. But you’ll remember soon enough. Nevertheless, if you’re lucky enough to be able to move back home, like me, you should probably be grateful that your parents are putting up with you at all.

Living at home is heaven compared to what you’ve been through over the past few years. You’ve probably forgotten and just look back on those years fondly. But University does that to you, you know. Stockholm syndrome.
Enjoy the paradise that is living with your parents when it lasts, because once you move out and start paying bills and council tax again and having to clean your flatmates’ shit from the toilet bowl, you’ll long to be back in your parents’ arms.